You have every right to fall, to fumble…to feel and to become. Each person you’ve loved, whether serving in a familial or a romantic role, has probably tried to portion you by telling you just how much of yourself you’re permitted to be.You’ve most likely been restricted, caged, and controlled for the better span of your life. Everyone loves your free spirit but no wants to hear it when it coes at night. No one wants it to become a monster that grows at the sight of anything slightly desireable. No wants to deal with the reality that you’ll never be trained, you’ll never entertain on a stage for the admired but untouchable, and you’ll never tame your natural tendency to roam.
I know that you’ve never found a home…and when you have established your own haven…someone has always invited him or herself into your sanctuary. You’ve never known the powerful hum of loneliness. Because there is always someone who wants to put you in a glass display case and own you.
You hereby have the permission to become who you want to become. It doesn’t matter where you’re going or where you’ve come from. I suggest you find the will and the means to soar beyond and above their restrictions. Run, like the redeemed flee from the wrath of hell. Journey through and to the pain that waits for you…because eventually pain blossoms into potential. I’m convinced that there is more for you on the other side of your own sanity.
Stop thinking. Start experiencing. Fall in love and let it drown you. Give away your power. Then claim your joy.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
HOW TO BE A BARBIE
The 1950’s was marked as a decade for feminine submission and male “dominance” in both the home and work place. Traditional women were proud to dress in their finest garments to wait for their men to arrive home from work, in order to serve mixed drinks as well as that day’s paper. Women aimed to represent their husbands well by maintaining a sophisticated, feminine image at all times.
Fashion Flashback: Women were (almost always) in perfectly tailored dresses and gowns. Point being? Women took pride in their appearances constantly and were committed to be refined, easy-on-the-eyes, and classy.
This is probably a good time to mention that there are 50% more women between the ages of 15-29 who haven’t been married (in 2010) than there were in 1952. That means that roughly 40,000,000 more women are single today than 50+ years ago.
In 2010, most women grow nauseous at the idea of serving as the more domesticated partner and essentially, a trophy for an egotistical man. But there’s something that I think we all need to be viciously real about…and I just can’t keep this dose of relentless to myself any longer. Because, I am one of few who believe (wholeheartedly) that the truth isn’t only liberating but it is vital for the survival of relationships. Now, I realize that everyone isn’t ready for the truth. I can accept that. But in due time, everything surfaces…no matter how weighted down or how defecated…there will come a time when all that is hidden will wash up onto the shore of discovery.
And the buried, murdered, drowning truth is that women are letting themselves go at a fierce rate. I think that we’re all too modern and appropriate and empowered to talk about how important appearance still is!
I’m not suggesting we all get barefoot and run to the nearest kitchen, but I am wondering when women started associating sloppiness or laziness with independence? I know that there are currently more women in the workforce (in America) than men. I know there are more female CEO’s every year. We are powerful and proud of it…but we’re also becoming more obese, more sloppy…and consequently, more lonely. We also misrepresent ourselves by thinking that bleach-stained sweatpants and a baseball cap is appropriate happy-hour/errand attire.
Anyone who loves having a beautiful woman around can tell you that beauty is exhilarating. Effort is intoxicating. And finesse is erotic. So when…did it become okay to leave the house without your ‘face in place’. Why do women think that it’s okay to look like they’ve just been mugged when they arrive at the workplace? Why are stilettos heels somehow considered condescending and ancient? As far as I can tell, most women still want to get married…but most women don’t take the time to represent themselves as desirable and fascinating.
I, for one, will not be in that clump of women who want to sit at home alone on Saturday night because I’m too “independent” to put on some MAC gloss and a LBD (little black dress) in order to gain an admirer or two. I’m not too proud to be pretty. Therefore, I’ve defined my attitude about this topic as “Barbie Basics”.
Being a Barbie, in my opinion, is about glowing in spite of burdens and baggage. Barbies know how to laugh at the right moment in the right pitch, tilt the head at the right angle, and get results by cutting the eyes in the right direction. Barbies accentuate their partners…not overshadow. Intelligent women, who are entrepreneurial and have their own wealth, are capable of being Barbies. Because true Barbies know that being feminine isn’t somehow a threat to the Women’s Movement of 2010. I love being on the arm of someone who is proud to have me near, who wants to protect me, and boasts a little just by having me around. I do dress to impress. And it’s not that I do it for everyone else, I dress because I know that I am God’s ornament on this Earth. I take pride in how I present myself. I’m not insulted by the reality that being pretty is important, that being attractive is imperative, and being feminine makes me all the more fabulous.
Women need to be a little more willing to play dress up. We should be eager to get up each day and get ready for life. A college friend, who is now Miss North Carolina, once told me what she wore heels every day because she could meet her soul mate anywhere (in the drugstore, at the carwash, etc). And I admit, she is and always has been a stunning woman who turns heads 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Her philosophy seemed slightly desperate at the time, but I later realized that her goal wasn’t to “catch a man” but to keep herself up. If we were more willing to represent ourselves well more often, we wouldn’t be so likely to let ourselves go so quickly after finding love. We’d get “in the habit” of being visually phenomenal. We’d realize that we feel more alive and more alert when we feel beautiful.
Being a Barbie isn’t about submitting to any man or wearing uncomfortable shoes to the grocery store. Being a Barbie is about being willing to be just as pretty as you are powerful. I just think every woman should be willing to strike a balance between ambition and attitude about living a fabulous, fashionable…fulfilling life.
Fashion Flashback: Women were (almost always) in perfectly tailored dresses and gowns. Point being? Women took pride in their appearances constantly and were committed to be refined, easy-on-the-eyes, and classy.
This is probably a good time to mention that there are 50% more women between the ages of 15-29 who haven’t been married (in 2010) than there were in 1952. That means that roughly 40,000,000 more women are single today than 50+ years ago.
In 2010, most women grow nauseous at the idea of serving as the more domesticated partner and essentially, a trophy for an egotistical man. But there’s something that I think we all need to be viciously real about…and I just can’t keep this dose of relentless to myself any longer. Because, I am one of few who believe (wholeheartedly) that the truth isn’t only liberating but it is vital for the survival of relationships. Now, I realize that everyone isn’t ready for the truth. I can accept that. But in due time, everything surfaces…no matter how weighted down or how defecated…there will come a time when all that is hidden will wash up onto the shore of discovery.
And the buried, murdered, drowning truth is that women are letting themselves go at a fierce rate. I think that we’re all too modern and appropriate and empowered to talk about how important appearance still is!
I’m not suggesting we all get barefoot and run to the nearest kitchen, but I am wondering when women started associating sloppiness or laziness with independence? I know that there are currently more women in the workforce (in America) than men. I know there are more female CEO’s every year. We are powerful and proud of it…but we’re also becoming more obese, more sloppy…and consequently, more lonely. We also misrepresent ourselves by thinking that bleach-stained sweatpants and a baseball cap is appropriate happy-hour/errand attire.
Anyone who loves having a beautiful woman around can tell you that beauty is exhilarating. Effort is intoxicating. And finesse is erotic. So when…did it become okay to leave the house without your ‘face in place’. Why do women think that it’s okay to look like they’ve just been mugged when they arrive at the workplace? Why are stilettos heels somehow considered condescending and ancient? As far as I can tell, most women still want to get married…but most women don’t take the time to represent themselves as desirable and fascinating.
I, for one, will not be in that clump of women who want to sit at home alone on Saturday night because I’m too “independent” to put on some MAC gloss and a LBD (little black dress) in order to gain an admirer or two. I’m not too proud to be pretty. Therefore, I’ve defined my attitude about this topic as “Barbie Basics”.
Being a Barbie, in my opinion, is about glowing in spite of burdens and baggage. Barbies know how to laugh at the right moment in the right pitch, tilt the head at the right angle, and get results by cutting the eyes in the right direction. Barbies accentuate their partners…not overshadow. Intelligent women, who are entrepreneurial and have their own wealth, are capable of being Barbies. Because true Barbies know that being feminine isn’t somehow a threat to the Women’s Movement of 2010. I love being on the arm of someone who is proud to have me near, who wants to protect me, and boasts a little just by having me around. I do dress to impress. And it’s not that I do it for everyone else, I dress because I know that I am God’s ornament on this Earth. I take pride in how I present myself. I’m not insulted by the reality that being pretty is important, that being attractive is imperative, and being feminine makes me all the more fabulous.
Women need to be a little more willing to play dress up. We should be eager to get up each day and get ready for life. A college friend, who is now Miss North Carolina, once told me what she wore heels every day because she could meet her soul mate anywhere (in the drugstore, at the carwash, etc). And I admit, she is and always has been a stunning woman who turns heads 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Her philosophy seemed slightly desperate at the time, but I later realized that her goal wasn’t to “catch a man” but to keep herself up. If we were more willing to represent ourselves well more often, we wouldn’t be so likely to let ourselves go so quickly after finding love. We’d get “in the habit” of being visually phenomenal. We’d realize that we feel more alive and more alert when we feel beautiful.
Being a Barbie isn’t about submitting to any man or wearing uncomfortable shoes to the grocery store. Being a Barbie is about being willing to be just as pretty as you are powerful. I just think every woman should be willing to strike a balance between ambition and attitude about living a fabulous, fashionable…fulfilling life.
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