SELF R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Ladies,

There is nothing like watching you mutilate your spirits...as you prostrate yourself before the men who want to be worshipped and celebrated, yet there is nothing celebratory about them or the way they treat you. You allow disease to infest your bodies. You allow yourselves to be referred to as hoes. And you think its funny. You think its funny because no one has ever told you that its not. No one has ever referred to you as a queen...or royalty.

And it saddens me. Not because I am some esteemed advisor who's never lowered her standards...but because I am no better and no different than you. I crave the attention of men who are willing to be what my father never was. I like them to be built just like him...tall, broad, fair-skinned with pouty lips and mysterious eyes. I am desperate for someone to stay in my life, even when caring for me seems overwhelming. I want someone to hold me. And though I die inside each time the intimacy becomes unhealthy, I tolerate it because anything is better than being alone...better than feeling abandoned. (Sound familiar?)

I decided, yesterday, that I wasn't going to continue living this life in search of affirmation from men. The father that "gave up" on me 20 years ago lost an opportunity to raise a strong, sassy young princess. I can't find his love in any other man. The only fulfillment I need is provided by a God who won't ever abandon me or misuse me.

I hope that you too, will realize that your beauty is your own. No one can increase your value just by being by your side. You don't have to curiously sneak from bed to bed hoping that some man will fulfill you physically and then, permanently, serve as your knight in shining armor. Because, if he's only around at night...and he leaves long before the morning sun is shining...you really are better off on your own.

There is nothing wrong with longing for the support, strength, and beauty of a man. Any woman who wants a man, should have a man. Just know that these men can smell your insecurities. You can't lack love for yourself and then expect a man to honor and adore you. If you think you aren't valuable, you'll attract men who have no intention to increase your worth. If you think that your ass is the most valuable thing you have to offer, then you'll find men who only want you because you have a Georgia peach, stripper booty.

Seeking fulfillment, seeking joy, and seeking validation in someone else is toxic-unhealthy-deadly. We have to start to realize our worth, without anyone elses input. It is then and only then that we'll attract the type of attention we want. Because whoever it is...that is purposed to love you will love and respect you as much as you love and respect yourself.

It's just that simple.