WHAT...are you looking at?

I love when people watch me live. It's enticing...in that "I wish I could shoot you without being imprisoned" kinda way. It's fulfilling...because, when people watch me live, I feel like I must be 1000x more interesting than anything else in their pathetic, tortured, popular opinion-driven lives.

And by "watch me live" I mean, stalk me or judge me while sitting in the bay windows of their pathetic cottage-like minds. I love when people make little gargling sounds when I walk by. Groans...like they're in agony because my smile is so abnormally sincere. I am consumed with glee when I'm in a restaurant, and I laugh 12 decibels louder than the appropriate indoor level, and some angry black lady wrinkles her ugly nose and frowns at me and whoever I'm laughing with. That's exciting. Why? Because my life is unusually fabulous and every person who life-stalks me by pessimistically watching every move I make, is just a part of a very important audience. I would be nothing without those who hate me. I would be bored...and insanely average...if I didn't have people who couldn't stand the idea of me being successful and fulfilled.

There are people, in and around my life, who try(try=pretend)to be happy for me and celebrate my accomplishments but instead, my progress seems to sit in their jealous stomachs like an inflamed tumor. They can't be happy for me because their lives are so mediocre, so pathetic that the sight of someone growing and prevailing is nauseating for them. So...even though I see them watching me/hating me...and I know they would assassinate me if there were no consequences...I'm still overwhelmed with appreciation. Because, if it weren't for them, I would have no idea how magnificently important I am.

So instead of growling, "WHAT...are you looking at?" when people life-stalk me...I'd like to accept the role as the most fascinating, beautiful person that they know. It's an honor. Really. I'm humbled by this opportunity ;-)