I'm in Love.

...I waited 24 years for a love like yours. The kind of love that takes a shattered heart and utilizes kisses as the glue to peice me back together. Your love, so innocent and kind...so rich and sincere, made me new.

I remember searching every embrace, every compliment, and every friendship for a love like this love. I remember giving myself to those who never knew how to treat me or hold me. I remember laying where I wasn't adored and accepting what should've been unacceptable. I was, indeed, lost. I was as empty as those I surrounded myself with...as confused as those I looked to for advice.

Before I gave my heart to you and asked you to mend me, I placed it in the care of every thief, conman, gambler, pimp, and womanizer that I encountered. I wasn't only stupid, I was arrogant AND stupid. I knew everything and nothing at all. My feelings were easily heart and my ego easily bruised. When I felt insulted, I turned to my addictions. When I felt neglected, I sought refuge in arms that weren't shaped to hold me. When people attacked my character, I gave them more reasons to hate me and to ridicule me.

Yes. Before I let you love me viciously...I was a stray dog looking for affection in every alley. I was a mess, dressed in the finest fabrics. Name brands served as my shade from the heat of your hunt. I didn't want to be found. I didn't want to be saved. I thrived on the fact that I needed no one. I was filthy. I was everything they said I was...and worse.

But now...I am perfected in your grace. You helped me realize that because of your love, I am a new creature. I, in the purest form, am an awesome reflection of you. Even on my worst days, your love and mercy endures and supplements what I am not...what I don't have to give. You live and breathe and speak for me when I am too weak to utter anything but hate and complaints.

I am in love. For the first time in 24 years, I found everything that I've been looking for...you are: patient and kind and you keep no record of my wrongs. There's no envy here, no ego, and no anger. Everything I hoped to find in anyone whose path crossed with mine...

I finally found in you.

Thank you, Jesus, for purifying me. Thank you for taking my sins and using them as the wood in the furnace of my spirit. I am on fire for you, ready to change this world, because if you can wash me and set me free...I am convinced that you can help anybody.

(1 Corinthians 13)