Sabbatical.

Have you ever been too weary to rest? Eyes are heavy...spirit is broken...body is battered...

But laying down provides no solace and there is no peace to be found in the center of your pillow. There are moments when sleep isn't good enough and no nap is truly satisfying. Bones moan like hungry kittens and feet swell with anticipation of the next work day.

There's a type of exhaustion that some consider to be indescribable. There are days when the body rises from its slumber and washes itself then dresses itself without the mind ever being connected to the process. I know what it is to get through an 8 hour work day...then get home and have no recollection of the events that took place in the office. I call it the Robot Syndrome...(the body shows up for the work day but the mind & soul stay in bed).

This year (2011), has been the most tiring year of my life. I joke with friends and say, "I wake up-sleepy." We all laugh...awkwardly...then change the topic because there really is nothing funny about being tortured by the alarm on an iPhone 8.5 hours after going to bed and still feeling drained and burnt out.

I realized today (and every day for the past two months) that a sabbatical is as essential now as it was when I was twelve and longed for the summer break each May. This is the time of year when I used to stare out of the class room window and beg the sun to give way to the moon that I might soon welcome another day that would reveal the reality that summer was near.

I am twenty-four years old...and my back aches. My head throbs like African drums on Broadway...

I'm only sharing my ailments because there is medicine in my misery. Each ache in my body serves as a reminder that my own welfare isn't optional. I am taunted by a headache which is actually heaven-sent. Headaches fade with the aid of Excedrin. I'd rather receive gentle warnings in my 20's than ignore the vital signs until a heart attack ends my life. So, oddly enough, I'm grateful for the current discomforts.

I know that I was raised by a woman who (to this day) does not know how to relax. She is constantly moving, shaking, and making the world better through service and love. I celebrate her ambition and commitment to being a provider. But my heart yearns for a lifestyle complete with real slumber and sincere rest.

I am tired! And I don't want to be too prideful to confess that I need to be laying next to the pool, with a glass of strawberry lemonade, my Ipod and an intoxicating novel for the next few days.

Real women know how to relax. My re-dedication to me (my health and sanity)is cited here for the world to see. I have to make sure that when a sabbatical is due, I take advantage of each opportunity to rest and refuel...because I'm no good to anybody if I can't even properly function and care for my own body.