...a Few Reasons Why So Many Women are Single

Hello.

My name is Natasha Nichole Lake and I'm addicted to being real...no matter what the consequence or the anticipated loss. And lately, my favorite subject happens to be male/female relationships.

I love my sister circle because it is a colorful gumbo of women from all walks of life who have accomplished so much within 20-45 years. When we get together, the sky is literally the limit because the conversation is rich, the inspiration spreads like incense smoke and our rainbow of stiletto heels are runway-ready. Simply put, we're all kinds of fabulous.

But, we're also all single.

So...I'm going to do what most women wouldn't and I'm going to be real about a few components that are prohibiting the most accomplished, sexy, faith-filled, career-driven women from owning (rather than leasing) love.


1) We're kinda crazy. (The women I know will probably roll their necks and say, "speak for yourself" through clenched teeth while reading this). But the necessary truth is...women are painfully indecisive. We want to be independent and in control of our destinies but we also demand that a man know how to be a leader and a provider. I've seen so many relationships destroyed by the "power" dynamic which leaves a man feeling castrated and a woman overwhelmed. Most power couples aren't that admirable at all because two people who deem themselves as powerful go-getters are typically both out to get whatever they want as individuals...leaving the relationship crippled. Now-don't get me wrong. Two strong and ambitious individuals can create a beautiful love story but both must be willing to put egos aside in the name of love. Women need to be willing to let men lead and men need to embrace the leadership role.(In short, we as women have to decide whether we want to wear the pumps or the pants...because we can't continue doing both).


2) We're insecure. (Yes I said it). All of that miracle weave and the wax on our freshly detailed cars...are just suppressants. Our pain is neatly tucked away in Coach, Fendi, and Louis Vuitton bags and our pasts haunt us even as we giggle and sip martinis at the finest restaurants and lounges in the world. Deep down...we're wondering what it is about us that makes us unlovable. Most of us love to use the "intimidation factor". I hear women say it daily..."men are intimidated by me so they avoid me." I'm convinced that every lonely woman has some rendition of that speech ready to throw out like a dagger during every family reunion, company luncheon, church revival, and wedding that she attends alone. It's an old and tired lullaby that puts the questions of concerned (nosey) relatives and friends to sleep.
Truthfully, there's nothing to be intimidated about because more and more women are executives, entrepreneurs, millionaires, visionaries, leaders, and successful single mothers. Most of the men that we label as "intimidated" were raised by strong women who carried the family load on their backs WHILE wearing Louboutin heels. Men aren't intimidated. They either want to be challenged or they don't. It's simple.

3) We're controlling and possessive. (Embrace the truth. Reality is a vitamin...swallow it). Any woman who has waited 20+ years for a good man has a slight tendency to get a little anxious about losing the best thing since slice bread. So...all of the gentle, debutant characteristics that were present on the first or second date...fade away and tend to be replaced by a jailor's tendencies. Her calls start to seem scheduled. What was once an attempt to call and be supportive or inquire about a long day becomes an obsession with a man's whereabouts and his schedule. When a call isn't answered or returned within minutes...a search party is formed. Random drop-bys to his job to "surprise" him and the inability to feel secure unless every text from him contains a smiley face start to collect and become a mountain of toxic habits. Women claim to want to have healthy and happy bonds with their partners but how is that possible if we try to hold hearts hostage? Love is liberating. We can't continue to try to convince men to serve life sentences...rather than an eternity in a blissful agreement to love for better or for worse.


Being single is becoming an epidemic for women around the world. No one really seems to want to be single forever but most women have given up on meeting the ideal partner. I know that there is a solution.

(I have some more insight on this dilemma and I'll share more in my next entry).

Thanks for reading :)