What Lola Wants

There is a woman that I know very, very well. She stands gracefully at 5 feet and 11 inches. Her swagger is unapologetic, raw, and intentional. Her skin is coffee-tinted...two creams and three sugars. Every inch of her frame is poised with an uppity aura, yet she manages to blend humility with privilege in order to remain grounded and approachable.

This woman is strategic and relentless. There is nothing that she has ever pursued, that she has not attained. At a young age, she developed the innate ability to demand her way into blissfulness. Those who did say no, were eaten for dinner or worse. Her tantrums were nationally acclaimed and her Christmas list was so long...she had to hire a tribe of midgets to record her desires.

She was worse than spoiled as a child. She was rotten and odor-infused. And the saddest part of this story? Nothing has changed.

Her name is Lola and her selfish habits are destroying her life. Nothing is ever enough for her. No achievement is worth celebrating. No purchase is significant enough. No purse is sparkly enough. Lola is a slave to the idea of "wanting". And what she wants...she gets.

The only problem is, Lola fell in love 4 years ago with a sexy, Southern lover who convinced her that there was no nook that would be left unexplored and no cranny would go un-penetrated. And Lola believed that this lover would finally free her from the confines of "want".

Lola was wrong. And now, Lola has a decision to make. She can either spend the rest of her life chasing the wind and trying to capture butterflies that she can never own or she can let this lover love her. For most, the decision is clear and the right choice could be made by an infant. But for Lola, for this woman who has everything, everything is never enough.

I hope that Lola, this woman I know better than anyone else in this world, realizes that love isn't like a shopping spree or a shoe collection. It can't be scheduled, budgeted, re-designed and altered at will. Love is a gift that cannot be purchased in a boutique in downtown Charlotte. And once it's gone, it's really gone.

It's time for Lola to stop thinking about what she wants and to start thinking about how to preserve what she has...