What would you do, if you could do anything?

If I could, I would.
I would leave all of the excuses behind.
I would change my life...because I would change my mind
In order to leave this land of nothing.
I would give up every dime
If I could dedicate all of my time to loving...
Loving.
Imagine that.
You won't. So you can't-
Imagine a life without the fuss and the tangles
(Neither can I).
I could tell you my days are carefree
(I'd be telling a lie).
Because without knowing who I am
Without something for which I can give a damn
I am broken. I am beneath myself, never beside.
I can't stand next to someone who has everything to hide
She is afraid to be recognized, afraid to be accomplished.
So she and I just spend our days shooting shit.
...meaning we don't live life, we just talk about it.
And I'm disgusted.
With my own inability to just enjoy being me.
No suits, no ties, no reasons, no abilies
Just sand, tequila, and late night drives...toward destiny.
(Something so powerful is tugging at me).
I just want to let it rip me apart
Until all that is left are my hands and my heart
So that, for the rest of my life, I'd be able to write
I'd be able to breathe into the only career that feels right.
If I could, I would tuck this diploma under the earth
Better yet, I would start my life over and embrace myself from birth
I wouldn't waste twenty-two years thinking about money
I wouldn't believe mama when she said, "to get what you want, use honey."
Frankly, I'd refuse to give a damn.
About anything and everything besides being who I am.
I would just be my cynical, unusual, peculiar self
I would lavish in my joy and say, "to hell with everything else."
If I could...
I would.